I come here pretty much free of experiences on blogs in general. I tried Dkos and felt stupid and generally outgunned, even though my candidate in the primary was the favorite there. I still like it there, for reading, it is a place that helped me get more involved. I even had the experience of going to the RBC meeting because of the information posted there. It was an education! EJ Dionne talked to me because, apparently, I was the only one in the room reading a book during the interminable "lunch break" ;)
(update) I was reading "Atonement" which made me happy because I very easily could have been reading Dean Koontz or Stephen King and I'm pretty sure if I had "Duma Key" in my lap EJ would have written me off. Oh and my copy of "Atonement" was not the movie reprint, it was the trade paperback...and checked out of the library no less. I was definitely the anti-Harriet Christian :DAnyway, I was a Hillary supporter. Quite a vehement one. I sought out opportunities to talk her up to my republican and veteran friends. Last summer you could not have found a better advocate for her than I was. Actually, I think I got her some votes in CT and NH. A handful, but still...
I changed. I can't explain exactly why. It was a few things I guess. Part of my initial adoration had to do with President Clinton and my enduring affection for him. I defended him vociferously for...well hell, forever. From the age of 20 to the ripe old age of 36. Hillary, to my mind, never needed defending. What the hell did she ever do wrong? She worked very hard for things I believed in. Since about 2001 I expected her to be my president. Period. I voted for her once as Senator in NY. Then I moved. I supported her and thought the world of her. Her vote on the AUMF frustrated me. So many others voted the same way that I didn't think much about it...I know I should have, but I didn't. Had I been that exacting I would have had no one to vote for in 2004, right? I wasn't going to be one of those people who held her to a more exacting standard than I held her predecessor to. I'm a Democrat, I vote for Democrats. Hillary was a good Democrat, imperfect, but good. So I came from a different place than some of you guys. I was for Hillary this time around.
Then something happened to me. In the months before the election I read Barack Obama's books. I started to watch him. I started to pay attention in a way I hadn't for 16 years. I fell in love. I know that doesn't sound reasonable. I mean it in the fall in love/fall in line way that Bill Clinton spoke of years ago. I began to believe in something potentially larger than what to be honest with myself would have been a return to the Clinton government, refined and perfected. In my mind anyway, that is what I was expecting. For Hillary to be Bill, just smarter, more focused and better. Clinton 2.0. I desired that. Then I changed. I just did, I saw the potential for change so I changed with it. My whole thought process when it came to politics changed. When I tried to wake myself up from what felt like a fantasy and looked at the issues, much to my delight I found that there were NO differences. Except for healthcare. I personally have problems with mandates that require purchasing minimum coverage from private insurers. I know that many here have a different viewpoint and I welcome any education that would alleviate my concerns (I've read many of architek's posts but, sad to say I'm still confused about his obviously serious problems with Obama's plan).
Long story long, I started with Hillary, voted for Barack. I'm thrilled with the outcome while still feeling wistful about Hillary. Quite honestly I would've been beside myself with joy having either of them as my nominee. That my choice made it makes me supremely happy but doesn't keep me from feeling very deeply the pain of those whose candidate didn't come out on top. Not to be corny, but I do feel your pain, a bit. I'm a woman, Senator Clinton's success would have meant a great deal to me for a million reasons. I have no hate for her, not remotely.
I'm no unity pony or whatever :D I'm just a Pollyanna. I'm really glad a woman just about tied her competitor in votes. I'm really glad a black man and a white woman were our last two eminently qualified potential nominees. I'm really glad I'm a Democrat. I'm really glad we as a party and a country are about to change things for the better. I'm really glad to be here and I'm really glad I have no hate in my heart for anyone. It feels good.
(Rec List on my first Diary! OMG! Thank you so much! This diary was 1000% from the heart and I hope it melts a few hearts of those who read it. Our candidates were really amazing and good people. We are really amazing and good people. To quote Kathy Bates, by way of Joe Klein..."We win because our IDEAS are better".)|
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